She's so cute she even gets away with farting on Richard's knee. Imagine if I climbed on Richard and farted on his knee at a dinner party. He wouldn't be impressed. He would think:
Christ! What's he doing?
Bloody hell, he's quite heavy for a small guy.
Should I say anything?
F**king hell! He just farted on my leg.
With Eleanor on the other hand Richard reads her a story. What could I get away with if I was this cute? I could definitely get a reserved carpark at school.
3 comments:
JY, I really enjoyed the dinner party last night, it was a great evening, but I don't like the idea of you farting on my knee. Let me try to justify how I feel:
1) Eleanor is a fairly new human and, hence, less contaminated.
2) One cannot deny that Eleanor is extremely cute. Is JY cute? Maybe once, many years ago. Now? No. Very, very marginally... at best.
3) Eleanor seems yet to gain any cynicism about life and seems to hold me in absolute trust. Anyone who is this nice to me must be excused the occasional misadventure, or slip, in etiquette regarding the control of body functions.
I think I would rather sit beside Eleanor in PD this year. Sorry to be blunt. You can sit beside one of the new guys... just don't scare them off by being too overpowering on the first day.
Overpower them? I'm not going to try and mug them if that's what you mean. Of course I'll be sitting next to you. If I don't you'll have no idea when it's safe to nod off and when you have to appear sentient.
Sometimes you're like a mother.
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