Apollonia 6

With the Purple Rain movie project up and running and the lead female having opted out Prince did a casting call and found Patricia Kotero. Suspecting perhaps that Patricia 6 didn’t stand up, Prince pulled the name Apollonia out of the book The Godfather and renamed both the band and Patricia.

[Prince] used to make all these stupid jokes, 'You're the kind of chick who would wear a mink coat in the summertime.' To this day I don't have my own mink coat!

- Apollonia

No, but if look at the back of the Apollonia 6 album cover you will notice her in a swimsuit on a beach wearing fingerless gloves.

There’s so much to admire about this photo, but mainly I think it’s Apollonia’s bandmate Brenda’s hand lightly, almost casually, resting on Apollonia’s backside that makes it special. It also lets us know that although Vanity left the band, Brenda and Susan didn’t. They seamlessly carried on from Vanity to Apollonia 6.

The movie and album Purple Rain made Prince a huge star. A star who was less prone to forming girl groups and trying to call them Vagina Sex. Apollonia's two most memorable scenes in the movie (for a teenage boy) were jumping in a freezing lake sans clothes, and her sex scene with Prince. Perhaps Apollonia's career would be boosted by touring with her band?

…there's no way that any woman could attain respectability travelling around the world in her undergarments. - Apollonia, 1989

Well I guess you would feel like a bit of a tit travelling around the world and doing shows in your underwear, and you mightn’t be quite as keen to play the game for Prince as Vanity was, so you might sort of irritate your boss a bit, and he might start giving all the good songs to other people.

When Sheila E came into the scene, Prince took away the song from us and gave it to her. At that point it was like, 'Man, this is just not fair.' Since I was a newcomer, I kinda bit my tongue, but Susan and Brenda really let him have it. - Apollonia

It’s Susan and Brenda I feel sorry for. They stuck with the Prince game plan through teddy bears, lingerie and line up changes. They were on the cusp of a decent pop album, and he pulled the plug.

Vanity 6

When you look for pictures of Vanity 6 on the internet you tend to get things like this:









Sometimes it's hard to believe that Google doesn't have a sense of humour.


Vanity 6 didn't look like the cabinet in your bathroom, they looked more like the three chicks to the left, below.

Back when Prince was just an ordinary guy and people remembered him as that weirdo from high school who arsed about with music, he went out with Susan Moonsie (on the right), and the song When Doves Cry is supposedly about that relationship (amongst other things).

The other members of the group were Prince’s wardrobe mistress Brenda Bennett (left), and Vanity (centre).


Here is Prince’s master plan for the band in case you too want to set up a girl group:



1. Get girls
2. Call the group something controversial like The Hookers
3. Make the girls all wear something controversial on stage like their knickers
4. Try to call the lead singer something controversial like Vagina
5. When the girls whinge about being called The Hookers have an even more outrageous back up name in mind like Vagina Sex

Obviously there were some back downs involved in getting from Vagina Sex to Vanity Six. The “six” in the band name was apparently a band breast count, but I suspect Prince just wanted something that sounded as close as possible to Vagina Sex so that every time he said Vanity 6 he could smirk. Then comes the final step:


6. Write classy songs.


Here is an example from the lyrical tour de force that is the Vanity 6 song If A Girl Answers (Don’t Hang Up):

Hey tramp, take a bath in puke / What's more, U can kiss where the sun don't shine / If that don't work, we can duke / U see, the only kinda man that would play with U / Is one that plays with himself / None of my friends could stand the sight of U / Much less the smell / And if I weren't a lady, I'd take my money / And buy U a brand new face / Then I'd take my underwear and stick it in your mouth / And U'd love it cuz U got no taste

Super.

Vanity 6 had a hit on the dance charts, and a couple of minor follow ups. They toured with Prince during his 1999 period and were all lined up to be in Purple Rain, a movie that Vanity was supposed to star in.

However, Ms. Denise Matthews (aka Vanity) pulled out of the band and the movie at the last minute.

Without spending too much time analysing it, it would seem that Vanity got too big for her britches. When this happens in the world of celebrity the traditional story arc is a sudden flare of attention followed by the long, invisible descent though the endless night of ignominy.

When Vanity went out on her own there was initially talk of her doing a role in Last Temptation of Christ. Temptation and Christ feature in her future as it turned out, even if she didn’t get the role in the movie. Vanity did crack (and Playboy). Her kidneys failed. She had a stroke. She briefly lost her hearing and her eyesight.

Then she found God.

The evangelist has a special message for young people about resisting peer pressure and standing steadfast in their beliefs. “There's so much temptation. We're in the last days. (My advice is) to stay equipped, fellowship and get close to people that are strong and read the Word for themselves. Without reading the Word for yourself, you don't really know what the will of God is. It's really important to stay in fellowship and prayer and fasting. And stand up for the truth no matter what.”

A member of the Church of Jesus Christ for All Nations, under the leadership of Pastors Willie and Roxanne Harper, Matthews has left the entertainment industry to focus on her ministry full time.

Apollonia 6

Apollonia 6 had one of the great 80's debut albums taken off them by the man who almost gave it to them in the first place: Prince.

The ultimate Apollonia 6 album had the following tracks: Take Me With U (used on Purple Rain), Manic Monday (given to The Bangles), 17 Days (used as the B-side to When Doves Cry), Glamorous Life (given to Sheila E), and Sex Shooter. Considering that Apollonia was also the female lead in the hit movie Purple Rain the hype around this album would have been huge. As it was the band only got to keep Sex Shooter.

I'm a sex shooter shootin love in your direction
I'm a sex shooter come on play with my affections
come on kiss the gun

Let’s not go down the road of exploring exactly what is meant by people shooting “love” all over the place.

Before we continue with the Apollonia story we need to go back a step to Apollonia 6’s forerunner.

Saint Apollonia

An optimist looking at this picture might think Ms. Apollonia was an early practitioner of the barbecue. The pessimists among you may have a more grisly story in mind. Here, with clinical brutality, is her profile on a Catholic web site:

Also known as: Apolline. Memorial: 9 February. Virgin. Deaconess. After her teeth were broken with pincers, she was given the choice of renouncing Christ or being burned alive; she leapt onto the fire herself. Martyr.

Jesus! Her teeth were broken with pincers? What’s the matter with people? I hope they gave her the option of renouncing Christ before they broke her teeth with pincers otherwise their torture technique seems flawed. I have to sympathise with her decision. Without ever wishing to find out for sure, I reckon having my teeth broken with pincers sounds worse than being burned alive (which is really saying something).

There is also a nice finishing touch to the fingernail biography:

Died: burned to death c.249 at Alexandria,

EgyptPatronage: dentists, tooth disease, toothache

How would she feel about forever being associated with tooth decay? I know I would be upset. I’m guessing she leapt into the fire, in part, to get away from tooth “ache”.

Of course the name Apollonia is not forever associated with tooth decay for non-believers of the 1980s.