Saint Apollonia


An optimist looking at this picture might think Ms. Apollonia was an early practitioner of the barbecue. The pessimists among you may have a more grisly story in mind. Here, with clinical brutality, is her profile on a Catholic web site:


Also known as: Apolline. Memorial: 9 February. Virgin. Deaconess. After her teeth were broken with pincers, she was given the choice of renouncing Christ or being burned alive; she leapt onto the fire herself. Martyr.


Jesus! Her teeth were broken with pincers? What’s the matter with people? I hope they gave her the option of renouncing Christ before they broke her teeth with pincers otherwise their torture technique seems flawed. I have to sympathise with her decision. Without ever wishing to find out for sure, I reckon having my teeth broken with pincers sounds worse than being burned alive (which is really saying something).


There is also a nice finishing touch to the fingernail biography:


Died: burned to death c.249 at Alexandria,

EgyptPatronage: dentists, tooth disease, toothache


How would she feel about forever being associated with tooth decay? I know I would be upset. I’m guessing she leapt into the fire, in part, to get away from tooth “ache”.


Of course the name Apollonia is not forever associated with tooth decay for non-believers of the 1980s.

5 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Didn't you cover this lady (with the broken teeth) in a much earlier post? What is the purpose in this 'second look'?
And, to think that you called my last post boring!
Get a life, social studies guy!

Anonymous said...

ps.
I've created a corner for you at work; just above the photocopier.
Hope you like it.

jp said...

I was hoping you wouldn't notice the obvious flaw in me critising you for being boring whilst recycling old material. Sod it, I'm warming up. Anyway, you never read the old strand of this post because you think "pop music" and "Hitler" are synonyms. Synonyms for what? Synonyms for PD sessions.

Teacher 1: "What have we got this morning?"
Teacher 2: "Sodding pop music."
Teacher 1: "Oh god, not Hitler again."

Anonymous said...

Nobody likes a smart arse.

JY said...

Actually, that's not true.