The following posts in this thread will have to have some limits imposed on them. The main rule is that only one crappy lyric is allowed from each "artist". The real reason that I introduce this rule is because otherwise Simon le Bon would have all of the top five places.
My all time favourite worst lyric from le Bon is: "I smell like I sound."
Bad?
However, you can't get in the top five with a single line, it has to be a sustained effort. Choosing almost at random from le Bon's substantial body of work (his ouevre if you will), I would like you to savour the ungrammatical obscurity of Last Chance on the Stairway:
I don't remember quite how I met you, wasn't long ago
Just get a picture of sun, in your eyes,
The waves in your hair
Maybe it's something said in a movie or you could've said last night.
Just took me out on a limb
And I don't really know what I'm doing here.
And sometimes I'm caught in a landslide
My beats so in time, can you look at me
I'm out of reach,
I'll talk if it feels right
I've had my last chance on the stairway.
Funny it's just like a scene out of Voltaire,
Twisting out of sight
Cause when all the curtains are pulled back
We'll turn and see the circles wet raced
Aint no game... (oooh)
When you're playing with fire
It doesn't seem right that we fight
So the party runs on all night
So nervous to say, tell me can't you see
If you want I'll fall out foreverI cant say no more... babe dance with me
And please don't say leave till later
I've had my last chance on the stairway.
Wonder why... (wonder why oooh)
What makes me rise so high
Maybe its something they put in your perfume
Or the look in your eyes
It could be the atmosphere sinking
Oh, I don't even know what you're thinking
Don't even know what you're drinking
But it keep this heaven alive
You and I both know that in our life times Le Bon will be celebrated as a great poet and he will be studied by earnest undergraduates.
Actually, I could run that course.
My all time favourite worst lyric from le Bon is: "I smell like I sound."
Bad?
However, you can't get in the top five with a single line, it has to be a sustained effort. Choosing almost at random from le Bon's substantial body of work (his ouevre if you will), I would like you to savour the ungrammatical obscurity of Last Chance on the Stairway:
I don't remember quite how I met you, wasn't long ago
Just get a picture of sun, in your eyes,
The waves in your hair
Maybe it's something said in a movie or you could've said last night.
Just took me out on a limb
And I don't really know what I'm doing here.
And sometimes I'm caught in a landslide
My beats so in time, can you look at me
I'm out of reach,
I'll talk if it feels right
I've had my last chance on the stairway.
Funny it's just like a scene out of Voltaire,
Twisting out of sight
Cause when all the curtains are pulled back
We'll turn and see the circles wet raced
Aint no game... (oooh)
When you're playing with fire
It doesn't seem right that we fight
So the party runs on all night
So nervous to say, tell me can't you see
If you want I'll fall out foreverI cant say no more... babe dance with me
And please don't say leave till later
I've had my last chance on the stairway.
Wonder why... (wonder why oooh)
What makes me rise so high
Maybe its something they put in your perfume
Or the look in your eyes
It could be the atmosphere sinking
Oh, I don't even know what you're thinking
Don't even know what you're drinking
But it keep this heaven alive
You and I both know that in our life times Le Bon will be celebrated as a great poet and he will be studied by earnest undergraduates.
Actually, I could run that course.
5 comments:
I quite liked it. Does that make me a moron or a dim wit?
Richard (of RBB)
Here's one from
The Four Lads (1950s):
Istanbul was Constantinople,
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople,
Been a long time gone has Constantinople,
Still, it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night.
Every girl in Constantinople
Livesin Istanbul, not Constantinople,
So if you've a date in Constantinople, she'll be
Waiting in Istanbul.
Even old New York was once
New Amsterdam,
Why they changed it I can't say:
People just liked it better that way.
Take me back to Constantinople,
No, you can't go back to Constantinople 'cause it's
Istanbul, not Constantinople,
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks!
The scary thing is that I wrote those words out from memory!
If the music is as good as these lyrics I think this might be one of my new favourite songs. It reminds me a bit of this:
We joined the Navy to see the world
And what did we see?
We saw the sea
We saw the Pacific and the Atlantic
But the Atlantic isn't romantic
And the Pacific isn't what it's cracked up to be
We joined the Navy to do or die
But we didn't do and we didn't die
We were much too busy looking at the ocean and the sky
And what did we see?
We saw the sea
They tell us that the Admiral
Is as nice as he can be
But we never see the Admiral
Because the Admiral has never been to sea
We joined the Navy to see the girls
And what did we see?
We saw the sea
Instead of a girl or two in a taxi
We were compelled to look at the Black Sea
Seeing the Black Sea isn't what it's cracked up to be
Sailing, sailing home again
To see the girls upon the village green
Then across the foam again
To see the other seas we haven't seen
We owe the Navy an awful lot
For they taught us how to do the Sailor's Hornpipe
And they showed us how to tie a sailor's knot
But more than that, they showed us the sea
We never get seasick sailing the ocean
We don't object to feeling the motion
We're never seasick but we are awful sick of sea
Fred Astaire. Nice. I LOVE the rhyme of taxi with Black Sea.
But neither of these count because they're not from the 80s, and the lyricists were actually being clever whereas I think Le Bon was trying to be serious.
Please suggest other lyrics though... I love a good lyric (which is not a euphimism for something else Richard of RBB).
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me
Iron Maiden
If I was a sculptor
But then again no
Elton John
Captain Beefheart "Lick your decals off Baby"
"Rather than I want to hold your hand,
I wanna swallow you whole
'n I wanna lick you everywhere it's pink
'n everywhere you think
Whole kit 'n kaboodle 'n the kitchen sink
Heaven's sexy as hell
Life is integrated,
Goes together so well
'n so on
Well, I'm gonna go on 'n do my washing
Well, now you may think I'm crazy but I want you to
Lick my decals off baby
'n I don't want you to be lazy
'cause it's drivin' me crazy
'n this song ain't no sing-song
It's all about the birds 'n the bees
'n where it went all wrong
'n where it all belongs
'n the earth all go down on their knees
lookin' for ah little ease
She stuck out her toungue 'n the fun begun
She stuck out her toungue 'n the fun begun
She stuck it out at me, 'n I just thumbed my nose
'n went on washing my clothes
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