Vanity 6

When you look for pictures of Vanity 6 on the internet you tend to get things like this:









Sometimes it's hard to believe that Google doesn't have a sense of humour.


Vanity 6 didn't look like the cabinet in your bathroom, they looked more like the three chicks to the left, below.

Back when Prince was just an ordinary guy and people remembered him as that weirdo from high school who arsed about with music, he went out with Susan Moonsie (on the right), and the song When Doves Cry is supposedly about that relationship (amongst other things).

The other members of the group were Prince’s wardrobe mistress Brenda Bennett (left), and Vanity (centre).


Here is Prince’s master plan for the band in case you too want to set up a girl group:



1. Get girls
2. Call the group something controversial like The Hookers
3. Make the girls all wear something controversial on stage like their knickers
4. Try to call the lead singer something controversial like Vagina
5. When the girls whinge about being called The Hookers have an even more outrageous back up name in mind like Vagina Sex

Obviously there were some back downs involved in getting from Vagina Sex to Vanity Six. The “six” in the band name was apparently a band breast count, but I suspect Prince just wanted something that sounded as close as possible to Vagina Sex so that every time he said Vanity 6 he could smirk. Then comes the final step:


6. Write classy songs.


Here is an example from the lyrical tour de force that is the Vanity 6 song If A Girl Answers (Don’t Hang Up):

Hey tramp, take a bath in puke / What's more, U can kiss where the sun don't shine / If that don't work, we can duke / U see, the only kinda man that would play with U / Is one that plays with himself / None of my friends could stand the sight of U / Much less the smell / And if I weren't a lady, I'd take my money / And buy U a brand new face / Then I'd take my underwear and stick it in your mouth / And U'd love it cuz U got no taste

Super.

Vanity 6 had a hit on the dance charts, and a couple of minor follow ups. They toured with Prince during his 1999 period and were all lined up to be in Purple Rain, a movie that Vanity was supposed to star in.

However, Ms. Denise Matthews (aka Vanity) pulled out of the band and the movie at the last minute.

Without spending too much time analysing it, it would seem that Vanity got too big for her britches. When this happens in the world of celebrity the traditional story arc is a sudden flare of attention followed by the long, invisible descent though the endless night of ignominy.

When Vanity went out on her own there was initially talk of her doing a role in Last Temptation of Christ. Temptation and Christ feature in her future as it turned out, even if she didn’t get the role in the movie. Vanity did crack (and Playboy). Her kidneys failed. She had a stroke. She briefly lost her hearing and her eyesight.

Then she found God.

The evangelist has a special message for young people about resisting peer pressure and standing steadfast in their beliefs. “There's so much temptation. We're in the last days. (My advice is) to stay equipped, fellowship and get close to people that are strong and read the Word for themselves. Without reading the Word for yourself, you don't really know what the will of God is. It's really important to stay in fellowship and prayer and fasting. And stand up for the truth no matter what.”

A member of the Church of Jesus Christ for All Nations, under the leadership of Pastors Willie and Roxanne Harper, Matthews has left the entertainment industry to focus on her ministry full time.