Track Five - You Give Love a Bad Name

ONE

I bought my first guitar off Paul Brown. Paul Brown is such an amazingly dull name that we used to joke we would get T-shirts made saying: "I know Paul Brown".

I think Paul must have joined my class about halfway through fifth form. Suddenly there was a weedy alabaster Brit sitting next to me in Social Studies. He seemed friendly. He was always talking to me and laughing. For two weeks I honestly had absolutely no idea what he was saying. I took smile and nod to new levels. After a fortnight some part of my brain must have adjusted and I could miraculously understand him. We were great mates for the rest of secondary school. Every mufti day he would show up like he was dressed for a tennis match; all in white. I asked him why. He told me that it made him look tanned.

Paul Brown used to listen to a lot of Led Zeppelin and The Beatles. This means that he had taste. I was still labouring under the impression that bands like Bon Jovi were hard rock.

TWO

There was a very odd trend in the 80's for "hard rock" bands to become known for their solitary lovey-dovey acoustic ballad: Poison - Every Rose Has its Thorn, Extreme - More than Words, Mr. Big - To Be With You. I think it was Mr. Big that finally annoyed me sufficiently to break away from 80's hard rock hair bands and start listening to actual hard rock. I still have a soft spot for Bon Jovi though. I can remember singing You Give Love a Bad Name at the top of my lungs with two friends outside the gym at Kapiti College. I think the trick to Bon Jovi was that they didn't take themselves too seriously (this photo aside). Very important to have a sense of humour if you're going to dress like this.

THREE

Or this. Here I am all dressed up (?) to see Nureyev perform at the Wellington Festival of the Arts. There aren't going to be anymore hair shots in this genre so savour it. Out with the permed mullet, out with the snare drum, out with Bon Jovi - here come the bad boys of the 80s.